“Terrible Two’s” is a term for the stage that toddlers go through that is categorized by temper tantrums, saying “No” to everything, or refusing to do as they are told. This phase of your toddler’s development is difficult for parents and even more difficult when parents don't understand whats happening. there is a misconception that your child will not start exhibiting terrible two behavior until around there second birthday. In reality, it usually starts much earlier and can begin around the toddler’s first birthday. I clearly remember when it started for us. We bought our toddler son a new tricycle big wheel toy which he immediately got on and started playing with. It was apparent though that he was not ready for the balancing it required, so we took it away. He threw himself on the ground on his back and flopped back and forth like a fish on land. We had to try hard not to laugh at him. The good news is that there is an end in site, but this phase can continue to around the toddler’s third birthday. The temper tantrums and refusal to obey parents stem from your toddler trying to become more independent and make their own decisions. Up to this point, your toddler has focused on making you happy. They do silly things, smile, and laugh because they see it makes you smile and laugh. In the next phase (Terrible Twos) the child begins making independent choices which is very important to their development. The problem with making their own choices is that they have to disagree with you for the choices to be theirs and not yours. This conflict often frustrates the toddler and leads to crying and anger. Another issue is that the toddler sees the world from a much narrower perspective while you can see the bigger picture. They might not understand that they need to wear shoes to go outside. They just know they want to go out and perceive you trying to keep them from doing that by taking time to put on shoes. Toddlers just want to explore their world to see how it works. Your job is to help them discover and participate with their surroundings so they can learn. However, keep in mind that they don’t understand what is safe, good or bad, or right or wrong. These are things you must teach them by guiding them in their activities. Some tactics to help deal with your toddler’s terrible two phase are:
• Offer limited choices. Don’t just ask what they want to do, give them a couple of alternatives and let them decide. This helps your child make some decisions on their own.
• Set limits to keep them safe, but don’t be surprised when they push these limits.
• Don’t give into tantrums. If they learn that tantrums will get them what they want, they will repeatedly use this tactic.
• Don’t just tell them “no”. Telling them what not to do doesn’t mean that they will grasp what the right thing to do is.
• Distractions. When your toddler is upset about not getting to do things, distract them with something else. Its amazing how well this works and how quickly they forget they are upset. And lastly, don’t forget the good side of this development phase. During this phase your toddler is learning at a rate that will amaze you. They will do things that will surprise you. I was amazed the first time I asked our toddler to throw away a piece of trash and he walked right over to the trash can and tossed it in. Your child is also learning great things such as giving hugs and kisses and when they imitate what you are doing it can melt your heart. So, enjoy and focus on the good, but be ready for the bad. If u need more help then get this book it taught me everything I know and made life so much easier for me and my family